Chapter Six

About to go to the well, Lamorna paused at Reena’s sudden exclamation. The older woman stood with one hand on the table as if for support while the other cradled her belly.

“Mam?”

Reena winced then smiled wanly. “I think it’s time.”

“Time?”

“For the baby.”

“Oh. Oh-oh! I have to get–”

“Hush now, there is no need for such alarm. There’s plenty of time yet.”

“But, but–”

“We carry on as normal. Yes, we will carry on as normal.”

Her mouth slackening, Lamorna stared at her mother who was resuming her chores but this time with an air of determination about her.

“Birdling, I still need water. Go on.”

Blinking rapidly, she backed out the door and almost fell over before picking up her skirts and racing to the well.

There were two women stood by the well, chatting quietly and in seemingly no hurry to raise the well-bucket from the depths. They looked up, raising their brows and smiling, as Lamorna skidded to an ungainly halt before them.

“Why the unseemly haste, child?”

“Mam. The baby. It’s time–”

The second woman grabbed Lamorna by the arm, shushing her as her gaze darted this way and that. “Not so loud. Quickly, fetch your water and return to your mother’s side. I will fetch your father.”

“And I will send word to Vanora,” said the other woman.

Wondering at their strange behaviour and whispered words, Lamorna nevertheless did as she was told.

When Vanora arrived, quicker than Lamorna had expected, she promptly set the girl to ready Reena’s bed. She had to strip the sheets, cover the bedding with straw and lay a clean sheet over that. Then she had to make sure there were sufficient water and clean rags.

Vanora brewed a drink for Reena, using herbs from her bag. “It will help with the pains,” she said when Reena wrinkled her nose at it. As she readied broth, she kept encouraging Reena to walk while Lamorna cleared the table.

The door slammed open; Lamorna almost dropped the bowls. Logan strode in but before he could say anything, Vanora invited him to wash then help support Reena as she continued to walk, though this was interrupted with more and more stops as the pains came more frequently.

Lamorna tended the broth so it remained warm, and silently served first her father then Vanora. The white-haired woman tried to get Reena to eat but she refused, complaining it made her feel nauseous. Lamorna did not eat much either, her appetite waning each time her mother was gripped by pain.

The twins’ mother, Lulie, swept in to help Vanora, and father and daughter were ushered out of the house. When Lamorna protested, Logan put his arm around her and quietly led her out. They sat silently, neither wanting to go too far from Reena’s side. All around them the villagers continued with their daily routine, but more interest than usual was shown in their direction.

Aherin appeared with the twins, Marden and Maldon. While he sat with Logan, the boys settled themselves on either side of Lamorna. After a while, they started to talk, but she was not really listening for her gaze kept returning to her father.

Logan stared at the ground between his feet, then at the closed door and back at the ground again; Aherin made no attempt to engage him in conversation, his presence seemed enough.

As the day wore on, the twins grew fidgety and went to play in front of the house. But Lamorna did not remain alone for long; Janina appeared to sit by her side. She took hold of Lamorna’s hand and they sat quietly together.

Lamorna wished her father would say something comforting, but he remained silent. Each time a cry issued from her mother, she flinched, and Janina would tighten her grip on Lamorna’s hand.

As the sun began to set so did silence descend on the little group; even the boys stopped playing and returned to sit by their father. Lamorna wanted to ask why Reena’s cries were getting softer, but she was afraid as to what the answer might be.

Holding the end of her braid between her teeth, she watched as Logan rubbed his palms against his trouser legs, clenched his hands and clasped them together so forcefully the whites of his knuckles showed. As a hush filled the house, his agitation increased.

Unable to bear the silence any longer, she finally said, “Papa–” but was interrupted by a hearty wail from inside the house.

Logan sprang to his feet, staring wide-eyed at the door, seemingly uncertain as to what he should do. Aherin slowly stood, placing a hand on his friend’s shoulder. Lamorna scrabbled to her feet, wanting to go to Reena’s side. When her father remained where he was, she stepped forward to open the door then fell back when it slowly opened. They stared at Vanora who regarded them with little emotion before directing her words at Logan.

“The baby is well. Your son is well.”

Logan’s breath came out in gasps as he began to smile.

“But I cannot save Reena.”

“What?”

“The bleeding will not stop. She is too weak.”

“I–I don’t understand.”

Lamorna stared at her father; she’d never seen him this way before: so... lost.

Then he was pulling away from Aherin. He pushed past Vanora and disappeared into the house.

Barely aware of Janina’s shocked murmurs, Lamorna stared at Vanora. “What’s wrong? Is Mam–?”

She took the young girl by the hand. “You have a brother, a strong, healthy brother who is going to need you–”

Lamorna pulled her hand free. “I don’t want a brother. I want my mam.”

Vanora regarded her unblinkingly. “I have done all I can, but the flow of blood is too strong. I cannot make it stop. And your mother is very weak.”

She was vaguely aware of a small crowd gathering. “Then why are we standing here? We have to send for a priest. He’ll pray and make Mam better.”

Vanora’s eyes widened; a voice sounded from the crowd: “No, Lamorna. No priest.”

“That will do more harm than good,” said another.

She glared at the crowd. “But prayers help. That’s what they tell us every seventh day.”

“No, they will not pray. Not for this.” With heads bowed, the crowd slowly melted away, including Aherin, the boys and Janina, leaving a huddle of silent, waiting women.

“I don’t understand!”

“Lamorna, child, look at me.” Vanora cupped the girl’s face in her hands. “The priests will do nothing for your mother because they see this as a sin.”

“See what as a sin?”

“I know this is hard for you, to have to deal with so much in such a brief moment but you must try. The priests perceive childbirth to be a... a tarnishing of mother and new-born.”

She pulled away from Vanora’s hold, all the while shaking her head. “How can this be? It’s a new life and that is good. Isn’t it?”

Vanora looked away with a heavy sigh. “You are not a child; you know of the act between man and woman that leads to a child being created, yes?”

Lamorna nodded.

“The priests believe that the act is a sin even though without it there can be no new life. And the woman is the one who commits the sin because it is she who carries the child... the new life within her for all to see, and so she is tainted, and through her the baby. Only when mother and infant are allowed in temple to be blessed, are they cleansed.”

Lamorna stumbled back, shaking her head, her mind screaming against the irrationality of Vanora’s words.

“And they will take me away. So far, I have managed to keep the nature of my work hidden from them. But those who help pregnant women are considered upholders of the sinful act and so deserving of punishment. That is why it will do no one any good to summon a priest.”

She clutched at Vanora, gasping for breath as tears fell. All her life, she believed what the priests had told them. And now, when she needed the hope of that belief more than ever, it lay in ruins about her.

“Come. Be with your mother now.”

Shaking her head, she started to pull away. “I-I’m afraid.”

Vanora held her close. “I will be with you.”

As Vanora led her across the threshold, Lamorna clung to her, not trusting her legs to support her. She screwed her nose up at the strong smell of blood and other matter that infused her parents’ room. A tearful Lulie stood to one side, cradling a small bundle. Logan was sat on the bed, stroking back his wife’s damp, straggly hair.

Reena lay still, her chest barely moving even though her breath rasped painfully. It seemed as if life itself had been sucked out of her, leaving her with sunken cheeks and dull eyes, and skin so pallid as to seem translucent.

Lamorna knelt by the bed, not knowing what to say. She glanced up at her father and started; she’d never seen him cry before. Reena continued to stare at... nothing. Hesitantly, Lamorna touched her mother’s clammy arm. “Mam.”

With great effort, she turned her head towards Lamorna’s voice. She tried to smile even as a tear trickled from her eye. She lifted a tremulous hand and Lamorna quickly grabbed it, pressing it against her own damp cheek.

“Forgive me.”

“Oh, Mam.”

“Take care... baby. Promise me...”

No! screamed her heart. This is his fault. But aloud, she said, “Yes, I’ll look after him, you mustn’t worry.” She bowed her head, unable to continue. She did not know how long she stayed like that, clinging to her mother’s hand, in the silent room; silent except for the mewling sounds of the baby.

A strange sound issued from Logan; Lamorna raised her head. For a moment, painful hope filled her as she thought her mother to be in a deep, peaceful sleep. Then she glanced at her father and hope shattered. He was staring at the ceiling, tears streaming down his face.

“No. Reena, no!” His voice was heavy with grief.

“Mam? Mam!” Lamorna shook Reena’s shoulders, but stillness was the only response. She heard Lulie’s tearful voice; she heard Vanora say something to Lulie; she heard someone scream, but she did not recognise the voice. She heard her father’s voice but still the screaming went on.

Then she felt a sharp pain on her cheek. The screaming stopped. Staring blankly at Vanora, her hand on her stinging cheek, it only then dawned on Lamorna that she’d been the one screaming.

Vanora guided her to a chair where she was left to stare as women drifted into the house. She continued to stare as they gently moved Logan away from Reena. As the room door was pushed to, she caught a glimpse of them starting to undress her mother. She remained on the chair as Janina’s mother quietly set more water to boil.

Vanora left, still Lamorna remained sat on the chair. Not long after, Vanora returned, and Lamorna observed her mix things together in a pot. After a while the woman dipped what looked like a sack into the pot and when she lifted it out, Lamorna absently noted that white liquid dripped from it. Vanora handed the sack-like device to Lulie who proceeded to feed the infant.

Food was placed before Logan and Lamorna; neither ate. Slowly the numbness was ebbing away and thoughts intruded; thoughts she did not want to entertain but which uncaringly clamoured for attention. She would never feel her mother’s touch again nor hear Reena admonish her for chewing her braid; would never again be called ‘birdling’…

Lamorna’s chair scraped deafeningly against the floor as she slowly got to her feet and shuffled to Logan’s side. “Papa...” She needed to be comforted, needed to be with the one parent left to her. He continued to stare at the table, seemingly oblivious to her presence. “Papa.” This time, she shook his shoulder; still he did not acknowledge her.

Then Vanora was by her side, gently leading her away.

“I want–” The words caught as a sob escaped her.

“I know, child, but his grief is more than he can bear. See? Here is your brother. Will you not greet him?”

Lamorna stared at the now-sleeping innocent in Lulie’s strong, capable arms, a miniature version of Logan. You killed my mam, was her silent greeting.

“Would you like to hold him?” asked Lulie.

Shaking her head, Lamorna backed away.

“No matter, no matter,” said Lulie, fresh tears spilling down her rounded cheeks. “I will take him with me for this night. Rest, child. Rest.”

Then Vanora was handing her a mug of sweet-smelling liquid. “Drink. It will help you sleep.”

Not knowing what else to do, Lamorna obeyed then let Vanora lead her to her bed where she fell, fully clothed, wondering when she would be freed from this nightmare.