Chapter Seventeen

Lamorna’s nights and days swiftly settled into a pattern; each night, they continued their journey through the forest while most days, they sheltered with a wise woman. Her fear of the night had gradually disappeared; she could not remember when she’d started enjoying being out at night, even though the moon was now waning, and she could barely make out her surroundings. But having Mistress Wolf close by, and the comforting call of owls around her, gave her courage.

When there was no village where she could claim shelter, Mistress Wolf would always lead her to a hidden cave, barely more than a hole, barely large enough to accommodate them. At those times, the beast would stay.

She had a rough idea as to when she might get to the village of those she thought of as Vanora’s people. The white-haired woman had told her that she should reach them by the time the new moon had waxed to fullness. Lamorna was already missing the moon that had waned to a thin sliver but knew it would not be long before she would see it again in all its glory.

Lamorna steadfastly refused to allow thoughts of her parents to intrude, concentrating fully on her brother instead. So used to carrying him close against her now, she felt incomplete when he was not physically against her. Ever since that night when the three men had attacked them, her feelings for him had gradually transformed. No longer did she constantly blame him for killing her mother; all she wanted to do now was to protect him.

He did not do much apart from eat and sleep, but, when he was awake, he seemed to spend a lot of time studying her. And looking into his dark eyes, so dark against his pale skin, made Lamorna feel as if she were gazing into her father’s eyes. Invariably tears would fill her own eyes and she would, once again, force thoughts of her parents out of her head.

She also made an effort not to think about her friends for she felt their loss keenly, even missing their gentle teasing. When she least expected it, she’d find herself thinking of Janina and her secret...

“When I repudiated my betrothal to Kerey,” said Janina, “I did not feel I was ready to be betrothed, and he felt the same. When his parents were happy to put it aside, my parents agreed. But... promise you won’t tell anyone.”

“I won’t, Janina. I promise.”

“My parents, my father was not happy that my betrothal to Kerey was set aside. He would not speak to me for weeks afterwards.”

Lamorna stared at her. She’d always believed that Janina had repudiated her betrothal with her parents’ blessing.

“Now, being betrothed to Theron...” She shook her head, tears spilling down her cheeks. “I have no choice, Lamorna. My father did not even ask me. He came home one day and told me that I was to be wed to Theron.”

“Oh, Janina. I did not know...”

Hastily wiping her tears, she said, “No one knows. And no one must know or my father will be very angry with me.”

Lamorna constantly worried about her friend, especially as no one else knew of her unhappy state. Yet, she also wondered if Janina might now be with Daroth. It had taken her by surprise, that she missed him as much as she did. She wanted to see him again, and yet wondered if he was happy that she’d run away; if he was happy to be free of her. Then she would battle against such thoughts for it only filled her with more sadness.

There were times when they’d come close to being discovered. But each time, either Wolf or an owl’s screeching would scare the people away.

Lamorna’s confidence was growing steadily and she’d begun to believe that they would reach their destination unharmed. Now, she would stride up to cottages with white rose bushes without waiting for Wolf to go first.

In the last cottage where she’d sought refuge, the woman there had tried to loosen and wash Lamorna’s begrimed hair. But it had become so knotted and tangled that, in the end, Lamorna had begged her to simply cut the end of the braid off. Reluctantly and after much arguing, the woman had finally agreed; it then proved much easier to untangle.

Before she’d left, Lamorna had stolen a moment to study her reflection in the small mirror by the woman’s bed. She’d been startled to find her mother looking back at her. But only for a fleeting moment, then it seemed more like her father before she saw herself, albeit different for she had never had short hair before. Now her blue-black hair, glossy once again, hung just past her shoulders, waiting for her to cover it with a scarf.

The person who looked back at her appeared bold, with barely a hint of the fear that had dogged her steps when she’d followed Vanora from her home. Her expression was sombre, with seemingly no memory of the amusement that had been a staple of her previous life. She felt somewhat sad for this person she’d become.

The moon had re-appeared, born anew, a thin sliver in the purple-black sky. Lamorna, who now walked straight and tall, felt a surge of excitement when she noticed it for it meant journey’s end was in sight.

*                      *                      *                      *

Stopping yet again to reposition the baby and re-tie the sling, Lamorna’s attention was caught by the sight of something orange peeking out from under a leaf. She flicked the leaf aside and exclaimed softly. Under the leaf was a blackbird, lying on its side, as if asleep. Its eyes were shut, its orange beak a vibrant contrast against its dark feathers and the dark grass. She wondered what had killed it. Lamorna reached out to scoop it up. Almost immediately, she pulled away, grimacing before nudging the body over with her finger. Ants and other small insects were clambering over the newly exposed side, and Lamorna shuddered. Unexpected tears filled her eyes, triggered by the uninvited image of too many insects crawling over Reena’s body.

With a cry, she half-stood, turning away so quickly she almost fell. The baby fidgeted and grumbled. Lamorna forced her attention back to adjusting him and re-tying the sling. She could feel her patience in dealing with him wearing thin. As far as she could tell, nothing had changed about her brother yet she was beginning to find carrying him in the sling uncomfortable.

As Lamorna got to her feet, the wolf began to back away from her; the beast seemed ill at ease. “What’s wrong?”

Wolf’s ears kept pricking up then lying back as she continued to step back, inclining her head first one way then another. She turned but seemed reluctant to move away.

“Where are you going? Is someone coming?” Lamorna looked around, but she could neither see nor hear anything. “Wait–” She darted towards Wolf, but the animal stopped her with a soft growl before bounding away into the forest.

The girl stared, her fingers twitching in the direction the wolf had gone. Still she whispered, “Where are you going?” Sinking slowly to her knees, she bit her lip, her breath catching in her chest. What am I to do now?

Realising she could not stay where she was, Lamorna pulled herself to her feet, knowing she’d have to find a hiding place soon as the sky was rapidly lightening. She was also aware that something did not feel right. She placed her hand against the back of her dress and frowned; it felt damp. Twisting around and holding her dress out, her eyes widened yet again at the sight of the reddish-brown patch that stained the cloth.

“Oh no. But I don’t know... Mam never showed me what to do.” She wondered, in horror, if she would end up leaving a trail of blood. Moving the baby and the sling to the side, she quickly hitched up her dress and peered at her legs. A sigh of relief escaped her: no trickle of blood.

“What to do, what to do?” She pressed her fist to her mouth. Should she find a cave to hide in for the day or should she take her chances and try to find the nearest cottage? The decision was easy enough to make for the chances of her finding her way in the dark without the wolf’s help was next to impossible, and she needed to find milk for her brother.

*                      *                      *                      *

Half the day had gone before Lamorna finally spied the welcome, familiar sight of a cottage with a white rose bush. When the door opened to reveal a plump, motherly figure, Lamorna burst into tears. She’d had to hold the baby so close, for what seemed like forever, to muffle his cries.

“My dear child–”

“He’s... so hungry...”

“Oh, poor little baby. Come in, come in.” She shut the door behind Lamorna and started to help her undo the sling. “What happened? I was expecting you much earlier, not now, not in the middle of the day. Where is your companion?”

“She ran away, she growled at me and ran away.”

The woman stopped, frowning, but did not question her further. “Hold him a while longer, I will prepare some milk.” She hastened to her cooking area, absently gesturing at the wooden chair by the table. “Sit, sit. You must be exhausted.”

Lamorna shook her head. “I can’t.” But her reply was so soft, the woman did not seem to hear her.

Despite his hunger, the baby angrily refused to accept the milk the woman had prepared. But she kept a firm hold on him as she softly sang a soothing song. By and by, her patience was rewarded, and he began to drink. She glanced at Lamorna, who was still standing. “Why do you still stand, child? Come and sit.”

Lowering her gaze, she shook her head.

“Will you not tell me why?”

In reply, Lamorna slowly turned.

“Ah. I see. No need to fret, it is easily remedied.” She raised her brows slightly. “Is this your first flow?”

Lamorna nodded.

“Let me finish with this little one.”

After she’d placed the now sleeping infant on her bed, the woman bustled past Lamorna and disappeared out of the cottage. When she reappeared, her arms were full of straw. The girl watched as the woman smoothed the straw down in a corner and covered it with a folded cloth. “There. Sit yourself down, my lovely,” she finally said with a benign smile.

“Thank you. I didn’t know what to do.”

The woman bent forward, cupping Lamorna’s cheek. “Don’t worry, my dear. I’ll show you what to do. You will stay here until its over–”

“I cannot! What if–”

“Hush, hush. I will hear no arguments. You will stay and that is that. You need time to rest, time to learn what to do. Besides, how will you feed him?”

Tears prickled her eyes again for she’d managed to momentarily forget about the wolf. “The wolf... what if I never see her again? I don’t know... did I do something wrong?”

“She left because of your flow, my dear; the smell of the blood. But I believe she’s not too far and she will return when the time is right. Now, I am Bryna. What shall I call you?”

Faced with such a down-to-earth manner, Lamorna decided it would be easier to do as she was told. And she had to admit her relief at being allowed to stay.

*                      *                      *                      *

For the next seven days, Lamorna had an easy time of it. Bryna would not let her do very much, seemingly content to have young ones to care for. As if to prove the woman right, the wolf did appear and came within sight of the cottage but not too near and not for too long.

Bryna showed Lamorna how to make the item to stem the blood flow using cotton, and the girl wrinkled her nose in distaste when told she’d have to insert it into her body to staunch the flow. She was thankful, though, that her flow did not seem to be heavy.

For a short while each day, Bryna would leave Lamorna and the baby to go to the village; she did not want to arouse suspicions by stopping her daily visits. Left alone, Lamorna would find her thoughts straying to her mother no matter how hard she fought against it.

She wondered what Reena would have done, how she would have reacted to Lamorna ‘becoming a woman’. Without a doubt, she would have been excited... proud. And she would have spent the days, these very days, preparing for Lamorna’s coming-of-age ceremony, which they would have celebrated after seven days.

“I would have a new dress,” Lamorna informed her brother softly. “There would be a feast; I would be decked in flowers...” Her heart grew heavy; a tear stole down her cheek. Instead, I sit here with none to mark my passage.