Chapter Nine

Slowly, Lamorna’s eyes opened as a strange sound intruded on her awareness. She lay on a small, unfamiliar bed, squinting at an unfamiliar ceiling. Her eyes ached, her throat hurt, her head hurt.  She was vaguely aware of her belly rumbling. As memory returned, her lip began to quiver as tears filled her eyes. “Papa...” Covering her face with her hands failed to shut out the horrible images of Logan being dragged away like some beast with a rope around his neck; of Reena being dragged away.

A powerful thirst finally forced Lamorna to sit up. Sniffing loudly, she wiped her tears. Looking around, she noticed another bed in the room; she wondered where she was. It occurred to her then that the strange sound was getting quieter. Pulling herself to her feet, she walked unsteadily to the door and peered out to see Lulie cradling the new-born and shushing him; that was the unfamiliar sound, the baby crying. She realised then she was in Aherin’s house.

Aherin himself was sat at the table, head in his hands; the boys, uncommonly quiet, were sat by the door.

“Will the soldiers return today?” said Lulie tearfully as she moved back and forth.

Aherin shrugged without looking up.

“What of this little one?” She kissed the top of the now-quiet baby’s head. “I would care for him and Lamorna as if they were my own.”

“Oh, Da.” Marden turned to stare at his father, hope in his blue eyes.

But Aherin shook his head. “They will come. Hilmer will come for him.”

“I cannot bear this.” Lulie’s voice caught. “All this grief, this horror. What of Lamorna?”

Aherin rose and, putting his arm around his wife, led her to a chair. “Sit, Lulie, hush, hush.”

“Will the soldiers come for Lamy also?” Maldon’s voice quivered.

“I don’t know, son. What that soldier said... maybe he meant it, maybe he only meant to scare us, who knows? But I dare not take any chances. There is only one way I know to keep her safe. And it is what Logan wanted. She may not be ready yet for marriage, but I must send her away to Daroth.”

The twins’ protests were drowned out by Lamorna’s cry of denial. All turned to stare.

“I won’t go! And you can’t make me. I have to be here; don’t you see? When Papa comes home, he’ll need me to be here.”

The burly man slowly got to his feet, as if weighed down by a great burden. “Lamorna, child, I would keep you here with us, you are the daughter we never had. But it is not safe. If you remain here and the soldiers come for you, we will not be able to stop them. Daroth’s father views the lords as his friends. He can keep you safe–”

“No!”

The baby came awake at her shout and began to cry again.

Breathing heavily, Lamorna lowered her tone. “I promised Mam I’d care for... him. I cannot do that if I am sent away.”

Squeezing his eyes shut, Aherin ran his hands through his hair. “Do you not see? You will not be needed to care for the baby because... because he won’t be here.”

She frowned.

“They will come for him. The priests will not let him be.”

“Why?” She struggled to breathe.

He moved to stand before her, resting his hands on her slight shoulders. “They believe that he’s existing in sin. Hilmer and his kind will not ignore that. They will see it as their duty to save him.”

“Save him from what? What will they do with him?”

“I suppose, most likely they will claim him, arguing he has no family.”

“But I am–”

“That he has no ma and da to care for him, to raise him the right way; the god-fearing way.”

“But then... they’ll give him back. Won’t they?”

He turned to Lulie, but she averted her gaze. “I do not believe we will ever see him again.”

Staring at Aherin, Lamorna was unable to say anything as conflicting thoughts jostled for attention. She was torn between her promise to her mother to care for her brother, and her secret desire to see him punished, for she still blamed him for Reena’s death. Turning to look at the baby, quiet now in Lulie’s arms, it was her final promise to Reena that won. With a sob of denial, she ran out of the house.

*                      *                      *                      *

“What do you want?” Although her tone was low, still Lamorna’s voice quivered. She was sat on the floor in her parents’ darkened bedroom, between the bed and the wall.

“Lulie is worried about you.” Vanora stood in the doorway, her pale clothes almost luminous in the growing dark.

“What has that to do with you?”

“I offered to look for you as she is busy with the boys. And the baba.”

“Well, you’ve found me. You can go now.”

But Vanora remained where she was. “Aherin looks only to your safety.”

“I will not go to Daroth.”

“You would rather the soldiers take you?”

Startled by her blunt tone, Lamorna glared before leaping to her feet. “What do you care? This is your fault. You said birthing babies was your special purpose, but you let Mam die. You said all will be as it should. Is this what you meant? Is that why you let Mam die?” She advanced on the older woman, shaking with fury, but Vanora faced her wrath without flinching.

“Say something.” Lamorna clenched and unclenched her hands.

“What is it you wish me to say?”

“Sorry!”

“You blame me for your mother’s death–”

“I wish you hadn’t come then Mam would still be here. Papa would still be here. You weren’t there, you didn’t see when they were taken away. You didn’t stop them taking my mam.” She stopped abruptly, panting for breath.

A small frown puckered Vanora’s smooth brow. “You think I did not see? You think I could have stopped the soldiers?”

“You could have done... something. No one. Did. Anything.” She raised her arms only to slam them against her sides. “I-I hate... I hate–”

“Us?”

“The soldiers. The priests! I hate Hilmer and his hateful god. We do all they say but our only reward is to be punished. Mam never hurt anyone and they treat her like dirt and now she’ll be punished even in the afterlife. And they’ll take the baby away because he’s born a sinner. Even though he killed my mam–”

Vanora’s shocked expression stopped her tirade.

Her hands flew to her mouth even as she shook her head. “Oh, oh no, I didn’t mean that I didn’t...” Her anger dissolved and she fell to her knees, sobbing.

Then Vanora was by her side, holding her close but making no attempt to shush her tears; instead, she rocked the grief-stricken girl back and forth, humming softly.

Every now and again an errant sob made Lamorna shudder but she remained where she was, curled against Vanora, the woman’s gentle touch making her yearn for her mother, and yet comforting her also.

“Child, if you must blame someone then blame me, not the baby. He is new life and that is pure and precious.”

They sat awhile longer before Vanora said, “Come, I will take you to Lulie’s now.”

“You also think I should go to Daroth?”

Vanora did not answer at once. “I think there is never only one path that is laid before us.”

Lamorna’s brow creased but before she could say anything more, Vanora was helping her to her feet. As the door to the house was shut behind her, the young girl hesitantly apologised.

“For what?”

Ducking her head, she said, “For blaming you, shouting at you.”

Cupping Lamorna’s face in her hands, Vanora made her look up. “It is easier to rail against an obvious target. But know that I do not hold any of it against you. And I hope that you will think of me as an ally and not be afraid to come to me for whatever reason. Now, let us go before Lulie herself begins to turn the entire village upside down.”

As they walked away from the only home she knew, Lamorna looked up to see Janina framed in the doorway of her house. The tall girl raised her hand in a hesitant wave, but Lamorna looked away.

“Your friends are very concerned,” said Vanora. “Especially Janina. I believe she wants to be with you.”

Lamorna shook her head. “I would rather be alone. For now.”

At Lulie’s door, despite having said she wanted to be alone, Lamorna found she did not want Vanora to leave her but the woman’s parting words – “Remember, for whatever reason” – eased her trepidation somewhat.