Chapter Fourteen
Sucking on the end of her braid, trying to ignore the fluttering in her belly, Lamorna crouched by the steps to the entrance with her brother already in the sling that hung across her body. Vanora had shown her how to use the sling and, after the first few attempts when she’d gotten herself entangled, she could now drape it confidently across one shoulder with the baby held against her by the rest of the fabric, which could be pulled tight and adjusted.
Now, with nothing to do but wait for Vanora, she kept thinking about her travelling companion and what Vanora had said about this person keeping her own counsel, and that Lamorna would have no say in her comings and goings.
The entrance above began to open. Jumping to her feet, she took small steps back. Vanora hurried down, a tight smile on her face.
“Oh, you are ready. But I have brought you some food.”
Lamorna started to shake her head. “I’m not–”
“No arguments. You will eat first; have something hot in you before we begin this journey.”
Eyes prickling with tears, Lamorna nodded silently as she sat back down.
“What is the matter?”
“Nothing,” she mumbled. “The way you said that, it was like, you sounded like Mam when she would want me to do as I was told and not argue.”
With a silent nod, Vanora unpacked the food. While Lamorna ate, Vanora related the day’s happenings.
“Lulie and the boys are still upset, which is to be expected.”
“And Janina?”
“She has taken to keeping close to her mother. Everyone else is surprised that the soldiers have not found you yet, and the hope is that you will not be found.”
Lamorna stopped in mid-chew, brows raised. “They don’t want me to be found?”
“Does that surprise you?”
“I thought...” She hurriedly swallowed. “I thought maybe they would be angry with me for causing so much trouble.”
Vanora’s smile was a sad one. “I suppose it is difficult for a child to understand. You assume that we are all happy, content to live as we do under the lord’s rule. But the truth is, we despise it. We despise the lords who rule us, their priests, their soldiers. We despise their insistence that we turn our backs on our ancestors’ ways, when they force us to worship their god under pain of death.” A vein pulsed on the side of her head as she pressed her lips together.
Lamorna’s eyes widened, but Vanora’s anger did not last long.
She sighed, and with the expelling of breath, her anger seemed to dissipate. “Your actions – running away in defiance of their orders – you have done what many have only dreamt of doing.” Her smile reappeared, wider this time. “You may yet become a symbol, Lamorna.”
“A symbol?” She flinched back slightly. “What do you mean?”
“A symbol of hope... light, maybe, for the poor folk in these, our dark times.”
“Oh...” Eyes wide, she returned her attention to her food, shaking her head, then frowned as Vanora chuckled.
* * * *
Lamorna stood in the dark forest, baby snug in the sling against her body, her possessions in a bundle across her back. She watched as Vanora secured the opening to the hidden cave, and felt strangely forlorn at having to leave her sanctuary.
“What about my companion?”
“She will show herself when she is ready, but it will be soon, do not worry. Now come, this way.”
“I can’t see.” Lamorna was aware of how wide her eyes had become, like they were stretched to their limit.
Vanora stood before her, hands on her shoulders. “You are convinced you will not see anything because it is dark, but your eyes have already adjusted themselves from your time in the cavern with only the candlelight to dispel the dark. Now, look around, let your eyes become used to the lack of light. Can you not make out the trees?”
Lamorna had to admit the truth of Vanora’s words. She was allowing her fear of the dark to cloud her sight. She remembered, when she was little, her father cuddling her on his knee, patiently explaining how the dark was nothing to be afraid of, telling her of the special magic the night possessed and how alive it was; he’d told her to listen to the special song of the night, made by creatures that lived their lives only in the dark.
She did as Vanora said and looked again. Slowly, as if a veil was being drawn from her eyes, she realised she could make out her surroundings.
A gentle, silvery glow bathed the world. She wanted to find it comforting, but, for her, it was still eerie, and her heart beat that little bit faster. Nevertheless, she swallowed hard and said, “Yes, I can see where I’m going.”
“Good. But if it will make you feel better, here...” She reached for the edge of Lamorna’s cloak. “I will tie your cloak to mine.”
Feeling a little more relaxed, Lamorna found her thoughts straying to the mysterious one who would be her companion. Vanora kept referring to her as a ‘she’; Lamorna wondered if she was from their village or maybe a neighbouring one.
They had been walking through the forest for a while, in silence, when a soft exclamation sounded from Vanora. “Welcome, mistress.”
Lamorna looked around, but she was unable to see anyone.
By now Vanora had stopped and was crouched down.
Peering hard, Lamorna could make out what appeared to be a dog standing before Vanora. She wondered if it belonged to the one who was to be her companion. Then Vanora was beckoning her to meet her travelling companion.
As she got closer, Lamorna decided this was the biggest dog she’d ever seen. Unlike the dogs in the community, it was tall and rangy. “But it-it’s a dog.”
“More than a dog, child, she is one of the White Lady’s sacred animals. She is a wolf.”
“What?” Lamorna staggered back.
Vanora grabbed her by the arm. “There is no need to shout.”
“But–”
“But nothing. Truly, Lamorna, there is so much you need to unlearn and re-learn. Think. Did not your father tell you to be wary of them, to respect them but not to be blinded by foolish fears? Was it he who told you wolves are to be feared... or did others?”
It dawned on Lamorna that it was only when she’d grown old enough to understand the priests’ stories that her fear of the night – of the dark and its mysterious creatures – had begun to take hold and grow. “I’m sorry.” Her voice trembled, for her anxiety at being so close to a wild creature still clung to her. It would take a while for her to shake off old habits.
The wolf began to circle her, sniffing all the while; Lamorna bit her lip to stop herself crying out. But as the wolf showed growing interest in the baby, she instinctively put her arms protectively around him as an anxious whimper escaped her.
Vanora stood behind Lamorna, hands on her shoulder, preventing her stepping further back. “She will not only be your travelling companion, she will also provide sustenance for the little one. That is why she is so interested in him.”
Lamorna glanced over her shoulder, frowning. “Sustenance?”
“You will no longer have to worry about preparing his milk. Mistress Wolf will suckle the–”
“Suckle? You mean...”
“Yes, Lamorna, she will feed him as if he were one of her own.”
“But it’s, that’s not natural.”
“Oh, Lamorna, you can be such a funny girl sometimes. The White Lady has sent one of her creatures to help you and the baby. How can you say it is unnatural? Mistress Wolf is flesh like us, she bleeds red and has four limbs like us, she births her pups as we do and she suckles them the same way we do. Her milk is as ours. There is nothing ‘not natural’ about this at all. And realise, she has most likely left her own pups to the care of others so she can feed this pup. Do not be so ungrateful. Now come, let us continue on our way.”
Not moving, Lamorna frowned at Vanora’s back as the woman walked ahead. She was aware of the wolf looking at her; it seemed to be waiting for her. Her cloak stretched taut where it was tied to Vanora’s and, finally, she began to move. Only then did the wolf start walking, keeping pace with her.
Even though she did not have to, she hugged her brother closer to her. She’d thought that she would feel relieved when her travelling companion joined them; unfortunately, that relief was nowhere near.